Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The uberlube is also flammable
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
