did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
