my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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