____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
