The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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