if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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