what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
