what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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