She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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