This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
