dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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