I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
