Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
