she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
