remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
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