Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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