So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
