I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize