I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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