Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
