love makes seman taste better
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
