I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
