I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
