What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
