Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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