Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Shame is for Republicans.
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