drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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