if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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