i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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