all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
