I'm jealous of your bromance
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
