I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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