So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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