wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
