Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
