Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
