You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I understand Curling. That high.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
