you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
