tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So many bounce houses so little time
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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