I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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