Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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