I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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