now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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