So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
