well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize