Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
