The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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