the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
