Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
