going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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