ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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