I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize