Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
