Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
