Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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