Are we in a gay sports bar?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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