i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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