mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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