Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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